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By "The Stress Doc"™ Mark Gorkin, L.I.C.S.W.
As a public speaker, it's not surprising that risk-taking is a subject dear to my heart and ego. It's well known that most Americans would rather contemplate their own death than face "stage fright" or possible public embarrassment or humiliation. Of course, some of us platform performers have had to deal with both demons: as a speaker; believe me, I've died many times. Further, while skeptical about reincarnation, I'm still alive and talking, but not just talking. Over the years, I've transformed my share of humbling learning curves into a modus operandi for risk-taking.
Let me start with a personal trial by fire that illustrates three keys of creative risk-taking. "On the edge" individuals:
a) are not overly preoccupied with making mistakes or with
social disapproval; they are able to tolerate the anxiety
of separateness,
b) have a strong enough ego to admit when they are wrong or
in trouble, and
c) emotionally analyze experience and learn from trial
and error.
With this foundation, "creative persons are precisely those that take the cards that make them anxious" (May).
Cox Cable Chaos
Back in the early 80s, cable television was starting up in New Orleans. Around this time, I had burnt out and dropped out of a doctoral program; then began struggling to build my own psychotherapy and stress workshop business. Throwing caution to the wind while needing to do some serious self-promotion, I managed to wrangle a health feature on a cable TV magazine show despite my tele-virgin status.
Having a weekend to prepare for the inaugural shoot, oscillating between shock and elation, I kept reassuring myself, "Mark, you do public speaking; you've been in front of a camera. How difficult can it be?" I've come to realize this profound truth: The only thing more dangerous than taking a big risk, or not taking any risk, is taking a risk while minimizing the precarious reality of the situation.
The precarious reality: no teleprompter, blinding lights, a sweltering room (the noisy AC had to be turned off in this primitive studio). D-Day had arrived. I found myself staring at that one-eyed, four-fingered monster (aka the cameraman). Suddenly, I was facing a firing squad. My last halting, anxiety-filled utterance: "Hello. I'm Mark Gorkin, a stress expert." Then began an involuntary live demonstration of stage fright morphing into oral paralysis. I eventually became audible in bursts, then collapsed in exhaustion after a minute or two of delivery. (Fortunately, through the magic of television editing, most of my panic and battle fatigue was erased.) Of course, the camera crew didn't make things any easier. As we played back the tape, one of them said: "Don't worry. We'll use this for our blooper special." "Thanks a lot, fellas!"
The next day I was still reeling from reality; the mortal wound to my illusion of invincibility thrust my combat deficiency into raw awareness. Nevertheless, while there was no rest for the battle weary, the executive producer threw me a lifeline: "I don't expect perfection; I do expect improvement each week."
Being caught in the crossfire of crisis and confrontation triggered a novel adaptive response. For the second shooting, I memorized eight minutes of uninterrupted script - a dramatic breakthrough for one of my mental barriers. The performance tension, along with the internal pressure of punctured pride, generated a heretofore-untapped level of persistence and concentration for writing and memorization. I also discovered another benefit of this heightened motivational state. My right hemisphere, responding to this "cry of the wild," produced vivid images, rhythm and rhyming verbal connections that evoked a more colorful statement style that supported mental association and recall.
The production crew couldn't believe the improvement in my performance. They figured, "If he's crazy enough to go through that again, we might as well stick with him." In a way they were right. I really was out of my (normal) mind!
By the third week I was getting smart. I invited a guest and used a short opening monologue. I won't claim the remainder of my twelve-week stint was a breeze (though I did get a good review in the newspaper). Actually, the third feature was part of a Thanksgiving special taped in the sunny outdoors - in gale wind conditions. Naturally, a palm tree prop fell on my guest and me in the middle of our interview. Hey..."Life's a beach."
Moral of the Tale. In twenty-five words or less, "Cox Cable Chaos" taught me more about letting go of predictability and perfection and accepting adult vulnerability than all my years of analysis!
Part II will provide key steps and strategies for "Confronting Your Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure" and for developing your "Creative Risk-Taking" potential. Until then, of course, Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc,"™ is an internationally recognized speaker and syndicated writer on stress, anger management, reorganizational change, team building and HUMOR! He is America Online's "Online Psychohumorist"™ with a USA Today Online "HotSite" - www.StressDoc.com. Practice Safe Stress with the Stress Doc: The Art of Managing Stress, Burnout & Depression, (published by AdviceZone.com) recently released Feb. 2001. You may contact Mr. Gorkin by calling 202/232-8662 or e-mail at: stressdoc@aol.com.
References
May, Rollo, "On the Imagination," The Symposium on Imagination, New Orleans, January 14, 1984.
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