Chatter Matters

A Fun and Creative way to increase Family Communication

by Chesle H. Blair

Today, most families are too busy to spend quality time together. This is due, in part, to the increase in the number of single-parent families and the fact that, even in most two-parent families, both parents must work in order to make ends meet. But Kathryn Retsky, president of Parenting Solutions Inc., makes it her job to find creative ways to increase family com-munication. “Too many families today go through life at 90 miles an hour,” she says. “In a world of working moms, teenage drivers and soccer practice, many parents only see their kids as they’re flying out the door.” Kathryn hopes her new board game, called Chatter Matters, will encourage family members to make the time to talk to each other in a setting that is fun and non-confrontational.

Kathryn united her background as a therapist, speaker and group facilitator with her experience as a parent to create Chatter Matters. She is the author of numerous published features on parenting, women’s studies and sexuality. Her career has in-cluded working in private practice as well as teaching child-development courses. Kathryn also recently completed a 12-year tenure at a noted parenting center in Los Angeles, but she says that the accomplishment she is most proud of is her strong relationship with her 17-year-old son, Jonathan Lane.

Kathryn was inspired to develop the game after listening to her son talk about how his friends could not communicate with their parents. She and Jonathan created the game after a year of nightly get-togethers at the kitchen table. Those evening brainstorming sessions lead to the most exciting family communication tool to come out of the ’90s.

Ms. Retsky received her master’s degree in education, with a specialization in marriage and family, from the University of Arizona in 1975. Her undergraduate work and educational credentials were completed at the University of California, Davis where she specialized in child development, sexuality, women’s studies and family-life education.

Kathryn serves as a family life educator and therapist. She was in private practice and taught child-development courses at Pima Community College and was the creator and director of the New Parent Program in Tucson, Ariz.

Kathryn is currently active as a speaker and group facilitator at universities and hospitals in addition to publishing articles on family life. She has found success in numerous facets of ther-apy and education.

“Open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship,” says Kathryn. Whether families are talking about daily activities or heavier issues such as drug abuse, they are opening communication channels and forming a basis for understanding and trust.

Why does chatter matter?

• It encourages family members to gather together to share thoughts and feelings.
• The winner gets the opportunity to select from a “wish list,” and the rest of the family joins together to make the wish come true.
• Kids can learn the “family stories” that they’ll always remember and will be able to tell their own kids.
• Players get to direct positive feelings specifically to other members of the family.
• Group questions involve each member in answering fun and interesting questions about how he or she contributes to the family.
• Bonus cards offer important life lessons. And good deeds are rewarded.
• It’s a kind-spirited game; every answer is right and every player is successful.
• Chatter Matters is fun! And laughter is a sure-fire way to enhance family dynamics and encourage communication.

How do you play?

Kathryn invented the game because she says that families today do not spend enough time talking about difficult social issues — and the government agrees. Congress recently announced a renewed battle against teenage drug use. The plan includes a record $350 million to be spent on television ads designed to drive home the messages that many kids are not getting from their parents. Kathryn urges parents to use Chatter Matters as a way to ease into the discussion of these types of issues.

Kathryn says the game is a parenting tool more than anything: a tool that establishes a foundation for open communication. Chatter Matters can be enjoyed by everyone from kids as young as 7 up through adulthood, unlike many board games. By the time those crucial teen years hit, communication channels will already be open. Chatter Matters provides a non-confrontational, fun forum for family conversation. As children mature, the game can be used as a soft way to discuss life’s tougher issues like drugs and sex. Chatter Matters helps parents know what’s really going on with their kids before it’s too late. Parents will find that their children’s answers and feelings expressed through the game will change as they age. This is what makes the game an ideal way for parents to keep abreast of what is going on in their kids’ lives.

Due to its open-ended questions, Chatter Matters is never the same twice. The game has no wrong answers and no loser, but it does have a lucky winner who gets to have one “wish” come true. A “wish list” is provided with various selections. Players can use their wishes to get out of chores for a day, choose the next movie the family rents, or plan an outing for the family.

Awards

Chatter Matters is available nationwide in toy, book and game stores for $29.95. It may also be purchased through many toy, psychology and specialty catalogs. For more information on Chatter Matters, call Parenting Solutions at 818/905-8085. You may also visit Kathryn’s website at www.chattermatters.com.

*Information obtained from Kathryn Retsky, Marla Malkin, with Communication Advocates of Costa Mesa, Calif. and the Internet.